No Fresh Blood on the Walls

posted in: Large Family | 18

No Fresh Blood on the WallsI have a friend who shared with me some personal writing parameters that she and her family had come up with. They included the phrase “no fresh blood on the walls“. This phrase is a simple (if jolting) way to say she won’t write about anything that is still fresh, raw…and maybe even painful. 

Living in a house with a blogger is something of a mix between the Truman Show and live newscast. When I started blogging in 2006 my kids were all young. I could write anything. Spilled food, temper tantrums, mischief…it was all innocent and hilarious. So I wrote. I took pictures. I shared it all with you. I am a writer at heart, it’s what I do. 

The thing is, as my children have gotten older we’ve all felt more of a need for privacy. A two-year old doesn’t care what I share on this blog. A ten-year old cares deeply. My family will always come before my writing, before my photography and certainly before my blogging. 

I’ve been reading blogs since 2006. Some of my favorites have come and gone. At times I’ve found that a blog I used to love no longer touches me the same way it did. Maybe the author changed. Maybe I changed. Maybe we both changed. Maybe I was just in a different season of life, and the blogger’s words no longer touched me as deeply.

Whatever it was, I stopped reading and moved on.

My blog has changed for many reasons. As 2016 approaches I hope to share more recipes (I’ve really been digging learning about food photography), more large family tips and organization, more of Love on a Mission (I am even hoping to go back and scan in photos for the posts!) I will continue to share photos that capture our daily life. I plan to share the same funny and often disastrous moments in our family. I’m a big fan of self-deprecating humor, so I don’t mind sharing my many, miserable mistakes. But my family? I don’t share stories about them without permission.  

Just know, parts of the blog have changed out of necessity. We are still the same family, with the same cast of players, but some things deserve to stay private; and they will. The sponsored posts I do offset the costs of my blog and will remain. Just think of them as a commercial break or a free magazine. I can afford to spend time writing here when I am being compensated a few times a month; otherwise I need to find another way to bring in some income. Along with blogging here, I run a photography business and am working on writing a book. Most (but not all) reviews will now be written over at Large Family Reviews

Posts such as My Farewell to Homeschooling and Living with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and The Day I Decided to Wear Only Dresses have really struck a chord with readers. I hope to dig deep and tap into that voice more. Especially since I am still refining my book proposal…But I am no  miracle worker and I can’t tap into that every single day. I just don’t have it in me.

If this blog is no longer a good fit for you, my friends, feel free to move on. No hard feelings, I’ve done it many times, even with my favorite blogs. I don’t know how long I will write here in this space, but for now I am enjoying it. I still plan to sit down five or so days a week and share with you, hopefully over a cup of coffee (or tea, if you insist). 

Your comments are always read and appreciated!

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18 Responses

  1. I’ve always enjoyed your blog–and your courage and persistence, especially in getting the right help for your kids! I also worry about how much to reveal . . . so I write anonymously and never post photos of my kids. What I enjoy the most are your family stories, especially those with a solution to a problem, your romantic descriptions of the way you met your husband, and your honesty. I don’t go for the product placement!

    • bakersdozenandapolloxiv

      The longer I parent/blog the fewer answers I feel like I have! True story right there. As for the sponsored posts, feel free to skip those 🙂 Especially since you live in Germany and very little of it applies to you.

  2. I still enjoy your blog after all these years, I’ve been reading since before you brought your Liberian children home. I’m really enjoying your Love on a Mission series, currently (I must check to see if I’ve missed the end!).

    • bakersdozenandapolloxiv

      Those posts are so much fun…but hard to write as it all took place over 20 years ago! I can tell you I am working on the next installment 🙂

  3. Beckie Daniels

    I have been reading your blog since shortly after I began homeschooling, and about a year before you had Apollo. I anxiously awaited his birth, worried and prayed for your family when he underwent surgeries, fell in love with Ben! and Adalias journey, watched their beautiful wedding online, wait for the next installment of Love on A Mission, even though we obviously know how it ends. You are among my top favorite bloggers. You write it REAL. Reading your blog is akin to chatting on the phone with one of my friends. 🙂

    • bakersdozenandapolloxiv

      I am so glad you feel that way! That is exactly what I want 🙂 Thank you.

  4. I cannot believe I am actually writing this. I have been reading your blog for over five years now, and not once have I commented. Forgive me for being silent for so long. And thank you for all you have shared in that time.

    I came upon your blog a month after my father died, and immediately I took solace in the warmth, humor, and joy your posts exuded. My family, already small, had just shrunk—but here, suddenly, was a whole new family, one whose company I soon found myself seeking out nearly every day.

    I have seen your family struggle and triumph. I have seen you fight for Apollo and Mordecai and Avi. I have seen your children travel around the world. I have seen your daughter get married, your son go to college, your oldest children make lives for themselves apart from you. I have seen your youngest children transition to public school.

    You and I have so little in common. I am thirty and childless. I have never been to the Pacific Northwest or Alaska or Hawaii or the Global South. I am ethnically Jewish but I am not religious in any way, shape, or form. I cannot knit. I would wager that we disagree on most hot-button political issues.

    And yet—in spite of our differences, some little, some big, or perhaps because of them—I delight in your presence. There are also many things we share! For instance, I, too, have brown hair and glasses; I, too, do not wear make-up (and only occasionally do I wear dresses). I am married to a man I met when I was only eighteen. I love coffee. I think and read a lot about education policy and progressive approaches to education.

    But If I lived in Bellingham, would our paths ever cross? Would we be in the same circle of friends? I don’t know. I doubt it. Even so, I am grateful that you have treated me as a confidant. Thank you for all you have done for me. I wish you all the best.

  5. Still true. 🙂

  6. I love reading your blog! Your sponsored posts don’t bother me a bit; I know they are your way of supporting your family and the blog. No problem!!! I, too, have been reading blogs for many years, and have come in and out of many. No hard feelings – freedom of expression is strong and true and right. For many reasons, I have chosennot to writeone about my family, but I love those who choose to write them and share them with the world, with their own parameters on privacy for their family, as they well should. Keep writing!!!!

  7. I’m not going anywhere

  8. Reading your blog post is a highlight of my day and I would miss you if you went away! So grateful that your little boy is doing so well these days.

  9. I noticed i haven’t been receiving your blog in my emails. Seems as though I have somehow unsubscribed several blogs i have been following! In the process of resubscribing.

    • bakersdozenandapolloxiv

      Hmmm…I must have set that up years ago, because I didn’t even know that option existed. Let me know if you have trouble resubscribing, and I’ll look into it from my end.

  10. I’ve been a long time reader and really enjoy your blog.

  11. Your blog has been, hands down, my favorite for years, the photos, the humor, the down-to-earthness. I started reading….gosh…years ago, before you adopted from Liberia. I’m trying to ignore the sponsored posts (especially the ones that just don’t seem to fit). Anyway, never have I come across another blog that has held my interest for as many years as yours. Thank you for your dedication to making it special. Looking forward to hearing the rest of Love on a Mission!!

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