Apollo woke up this morning and immediately asked, “How old is Dad?”
Me (groggy): Ummm…42. Why did you ask how old he is?
Apollo: Because I never knew.
Fair enough.
Silence.
Apollo: How old am I now?
Me: Three.
Apollo: Awwwww. I’m still three?
Me: Yes.
Apollo crying.
Me (trying to distract him): What do you think the best age is?
Apollo: Every other age!
Sometimes there is no making a toddler happy.
K at bedtime: How many more days till I’m a grownup?
Me: Well, you’re four, and you’ll be grown up when you’re about 20, so about 16 years.
K: Sixteen YEARS?!
Me: Why are you asking?
K: Because you and Daddy don’t let me have some things.
Me: Like what?
K: Like a robot.
You won’t let your son (daughter?) have a robot?! I’m pretty sure that’s child abuse!
He certainly thought so!
Dinner with K (age 3):
K: I have two and two. That makes four. What’s four plus four?
Me: Eight.
K: What’s eight plus eight?
Me: Sixteen.
K: What do you call what I’m doing?
Me: A geometric progression.
K: What’s sixteen plus sixteen?
Me: Thirty-two.
K: Can I have a tortilla?
Me: Sure.
K: How do you spell ‘tortilla’?
LOL!
Okay, just one more:
(W, age 3.5, returns from library story hour having made a collage with letters and cutout shapes.)
Me: What is the P for?
W: Penguin! (points to a penguin)
Me: What is the G for?
W: Ghost! (points to a ghost)
Me: What is the N for?
W: Decoration!
Okay, no, wait, one more:
W: Does everyone have a birthday?
Me: Yes, it’s the day you were born.
W: When was God born?
Okay, here is a conversation I had with Hezekiah at the dinner table in 2008. He was four:
H: Mom, do you change your underwear everyday?
Me: Yes.
H: Oh. Because sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.
This one reminds me of Duncan and the soap. The soap he only uses if someone is watching him.
AWESOME. Here’s one from a couple months ago with K, the 4 year old:
Me: K, have you noticed your underwear is on backwards?
K (checking): Yeah. I like the picture on the butt. It looks like a robot.
Me: Well, it doesn’t fit as well that way. It might be uncomfortable.
K (considering): No.
Me: Buddy, why aren’t you asleep?
3 yo grandson: because I am awake…. Actuably, I am asleep but can you get me a drink?
Grandson(3): Gramma, can you fix my Buzz?
Me: I will try, but there are no I guarantees.
Grandson: What???!!! There’s no guarantees at my home either!! Who tooked our guarantees???
I still have no idea what he thinks a guarantee is.
You all crack me up! Thanks for the giggles!
My oldest son (who has two older sisters) use to say all of the time…”When I was a girl…” There was just no convincing him that he was NEVER a girl! Luckily he is 12 now and has got it figured out! haha
Our littlest- “You just adopted me because you needed a brown boy in your family, right?” ummm, sure son! ;)
Funny! Your son might like Dar Williams’ song “When I Was A Boy”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BE5YzRr9yPo
My daughter D at about age 4, seeing an injured bug on our garden path:
“Oh, the poor, poor thing. KILL it, Mommy!”
My then 4yr. old nephew was visiting his grandparents and was frantically looking for something in the hallway. I asked him what was wrong and he said he had lost some of his hot wheels. I asked him how many he had brought and he said all of them.
This is the same child when three, showed his bloody hand to his mom and as she rushed him to the bathroom to clean and put a band-aid on it, asked him how he had cut himself. His reply? “I don’t know, but I know one thing, it wasn’t with Daddy’s razor in that drawer over there.’
Where does time go? This ‘child’ is now the father of two, a three year old girl and a baby son
I think the story about your nephew’s cut hand might be my favorite!
Having dinner at Grandpa and Grandma’s house. Grandma put a cookie on (3 years old, probably) Wyatt’s plate, which disappeared rapidly. Shortly after that Daddy (sitting next to him) noticed Wyatt eating another cookie.
Dad: Hey! That’s MY cookie!
Wyatt, matter-of-factly, viewing the rest of it: Well, it’s got MY bite in it.
I miss those toddler days. Except for the diapers. And the car seats ;D
Julie
SO cute! My 4 year old niece was telling me about Abraham Lincoln the other day.
Me: What did you learn about Lincoln?
Presly: Well Nanda, he was sassy nated. (assassinated)
I think my jaw dropped.